


Reflection

by CassieWritesDestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Vessel Nick (Supernatural), Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Crying, Desperation, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lucifer Possessing Nick (Supernatural), M/M, Mirrors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 01:30:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18488506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassieWritesDestiel/pseuds/CassieWritesDestiel
Summary: The mirror in the corner of the room shows Nick eveything he's lost.





	Reflection

It was just a mirror. One thing in the corner of the room Nick never dared to look at. Yet, sometimes, he risks a glance, and every time he thinks to catch a glimpse of hope there, but he’s always let down. 

“Where are you?” he whispered, heartbroken, desperate, alone. The empty room provided no answer, it was as dull and dim as always, filled with no life. Nick looked up at the mirror, watching the face there for any sign that he was wrong. That this truth was wrong. A little smirk, a wink he wouldn’t be able to hold back because it wouldn’t be him controlling his body. But still, nothing. His mind was quiet, so vacant without the angel keeping him company. He hated it. 

His reflection was a memory of what once was and would never be again. It showed something whole yet missing a half and Nick despised how he noticed all those little details that made this face his and not Lucifer’s. How it was so obvious for him, like a thousand tiny needles poking into him, tearing him open from inside, yet nobody else noticed his pain. 

“Why did you leave?” 

Still, no answer. Tears burned into his eyes, leaving warm stains on his cheeks as he cried. He curled up into an embryo of agony as he sobbed, burying his weakness in his hands, yet giving it away bright and clear through the sounds he made. Nick missed how the cold entity of the devil always kept him warm, how he had been a comfort. He missed the hunch of wings on his back, how they’d curl around him right now, soft and broken and so beautiful. 

_ “Get up, Nick, why are you crying? We don’t have time for this.”  _

“You’re dead!” Nick cried out, not giving up his eyes’ hideout. 

_ “Oh? Well, I’d better get going then. Don’t wanna leave them waiting. Nothing left to do when I’m dead.”  _

“No! No, No!” Nick screamed out, jolting up and reaching out for something that wasn’t there. “Don’t leave me! Please, don’t leave me again!” The tears started to suffocate him but quite frankly, Nick couldn’t care less. He looked up, his vision blurry from the liquid pouring out his eyes, and made the mistake of looking directly into the mirror. 

Anger bubbled up inside of him, burning and acid anger, the sort he used to be afraid of. He used to hide this side, shove it off as not him, deny it. He was never whole throughout all of it, until he became Lucifer’s half. Until every piece clicked in place and it finally made sense why he was the way he was. He was meant to be Lucifer’s vessel, was meant to be with him. But now he was gone and Nick was left alone, again. 

“You’re not him!” he screamed and lashed out at the mirror, breaking it into pieces like it shattered him. A thousand fragments of his face flew around the room, just like they should be when it was just him and not Lucifer. Nick felt a strange satisfaction as the glass broke through his skin, leaving marks of destruction on himself. Where the mirror had been now only hung an empty frame holding a few left-over shards, brave enough to remain standing. The pieces around him glittered in the dark as they caught the little light in the room and reflected it, failing in the attempt to make the room brighter. Nick sat among them, feeling relief that he wouldn’t be tortured by the mirror showing him what he couldn’t have again because now it was broken. 

 


End file.
